The Struggles of Raising a Tween Girl


So you’re baby girl isn’t exactly the sweet little angel she used to be nor is she a full-grown teenager. She’s a tween girl. She doesn’t want to be babied anymore, but she can’t be treated like an adult yet either. Raising a tween girl is probably one of the hardest tasks for a mom. Here’s why.

You’re Just Mom

Although this may not sound like a struggle of raising a tween girl, it totally is. You are no longer mommy. Your daughter will no longer want long hugs and for you to brush her hair. She won’t need your help tying her shoes or picking out outfits. And she definitely doesn’t want to confide in you about boys. On the other hand, you aren’t in BFF mode either. When your daughter gets older she will realize that one of the most cherished friendships she will ever have is with her mother, however she isn’t there just yet. She won’t be content with having a girl’s night with you or helping you cook dinner. She won’t want to go shopping with you or go for a hike together either. In her book, you’re just mom to her. Not mommy, not a friend, just mom. But don’t worry you’ll be in friend mode before you know it.

The Clothes You Buy Her Are Wrong

You will try to be a caring, loving, and thoughtful mom and buy your daughter some cute clothes (or so you think). You will present them to your tween girl, but boy will you be wrong. She will hate everything you bought and demand you take them back because she would never be caught dead wearing them. Raising a tween girl comes with the expectation that your daughter will do everything she can to try to fit in. This includes her begging you to buy a new Juicy Sweatsuit that you find ridiculous, but you will get for her anyway just so she fits in. Soon she will realize that it’s good to be different and have your own style, but for right now it’s all about what the other girls at school have.

She can’t be seen with you in public

The days of picking your daughter up from school with the expectation of her running up to you giving you a big hug are over. She will make sure you park a few blocks away from school when you pick her up, so she avoids all possibilities of seeing her mom pick her up in a mini van. She is no longer in elementary school, loving every second of seeing you serve lunch on pizza day. Instead, she wants to run the other way when she is caught in public with you. Don’t be discouraged. It happens to everyone and she will get over it.

Get used to talking to the hand

Raising a tween girl comes with the notion that there will be many things, but above all mood swings. One second your daughter will be happy and laughing and the next she is in full blown bitch mode. If you ask her the wrong question she will snap at you, she will ignore you and, she will not be happy. The worst fights you may ever have will most likely be with your tween daughter.

Her favorite place will be somewhere you are not

While raising a tween girl it will quickly seem like your family has decreased in size. Your tween girl will never be home. Whether she’s at the mall, at friend’s house, or at the movies you will never see her. She won’t even eat dinner at home anymore. And when she is home, don’t be silly and think she will be hanging out with you in the living room. No way. Her favorite place at home will be in her room with the door shut. Don’t take it personally because all girls do this and they will soon discover that sitting in the living room talking to you is totally worth it.

While all of these struggles seem like they may never end, your tween girl will grow up and these struggles will soon be a thing of the past!


About Author

Abby Jurgens is a student at Villanova University majoring in Communications and minoring in Creative Writing and Spanish. She lives in Bergen County, NJ with her parents and older sister. Although she is in love with her hometown of Wyckoff and enjoys dining at Café Amici there, Abby also loves going to Cape May every summer with her family and eating at Panico’s. While at home in Wyckoff, you can find Abby playing sports with friends, listening to country music, and helping her mom in the kitchen. Family is very important to her and she loves any minute she gets to spend with all of her relatives. She also loves to read and write because everyone’s words are so different and unique; she loves hearing the way people use their voices.