Respect vs. Love: Financial Lessons From My Mother

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My mom wanted to be a doctor. It was this ambition that brought her and my dad together back when they attended college. They both had a passion for medicine, and would study for countless hours in order to be accepted into medical school.

Fast forward several years and my dad is a surgeon, while my mom has put aside her medical ambitions to become a homemaker. Life takes over, just as it has for generations of women in the years preceding my mother’s story, and in similar fashion, my mom made sacrifices in order to pursue a different dream, that of raising a family. There’s nothing wrong with choosing family over professional ambition, but many women must make the sacrifice to put certain parts of their lives on hold in order to foster another.

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The problem with this story is that love does not equal respect.

My mother was very qualified, but she wasn’t given equal footing when it came to decision-making in the household. She truly believed that would never change. Then, one day my aunt suggested a simple trick to her: start managing the household finances.

After mild consideration, my mom suggested this idea to my dad. He was shocked. Although he didn’t shoot down the idea he didn’t exactly embrace it. The conversation was rocky at first, but it set the stage for what was to become a series of talks my parents held about their financial future. With each discussion, my mom became more confident about making financial decisions for the family. One simple change, managing our household’s finances, improved my mom’s standing in her world.

We had a very loving family, don’t get me wrong, however, it was this lesson that illustrated an important life lesson for me. Love and respect are two very different things. Love is given; respect is earned. I saw that even from members of my family, one must earn respect.

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Though the financial world is still heavily dominated by men, it’s sobering to know that it’s a scientific fact women are better at managing money. (Editor’s note: We love scientific facts!) Women make better traders at banks. They also make better portfolio managers at hedge funds. This has nothing to do with smarts learned from books and everything to do with discipline and following through to the end of an endeavor so there are no loose ends. As you might’ve imagined, success in financial management and investing is a result of hard work.

With this valuable lesson in hand from my mother (and aunt), I went on to build my career in the financial industry. When I realized the inequities that exist between how financial institutions and individuals invest, I knew there had to be an easier way to get access to the information those big companies were using to make smart investment choices. From this inequity, qplum was born. Qplum is an online wealth management platform that gives individuals the accessibility to key strategies and data, previously only available to financial institutions, to invest their money wisely. In a nutshell, we’re democratizing investment access.

qplum helps mothers (and fathers) learn how to manage your family’s money wisely. Whether you simply have a few extra dollars to invest, or you’re ready to take the next step toward financial freedom, qplum was built to meet your family’s growing needs.

My advice to you: start managing the family’s finances. Or, at least become a part of the conversation if you’re not already. Taking the first step is easy with qplum. We help you measure, plan, and ultimately invest so that your family’s financial future is in your control.


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About Author

Mansi has over 10 years of experience in portfolio management. Before starting qplum, she worked at Brevan Howard where she managed portfolios of more than $100 million. Previously, she was a trader at the swaps desk at Bank of America, Merrill Lynch and Wachovia Bank. She completed her Masters in Computer Science from the University of Pennsylvania and holds both the Series 3 and Series 65 certifications. Mansi is a mom of an adorable 3 year old and a proud Jersey City resident. She is a morning person who enjoys her daily cup of coffee and is an avid reader.

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